Thursday, August 14, 2014

my "art" story

August 7th was the 14th birthday of deviantART. To celebrate, they asked all deviant users to share their "My deviantART Story." I decided to join in, now that I'm alive and kicking again on there! And I decided I wanted to share this on my blog, too. Because this blog is part of my "artistic" journey.

"WOW, I can't believe I've been on deviantART for five years…

I actually can't remember how I found deviantART. My friends and I loved drawing since we were little and I'm pretty sure we were messing around on the internet, mashing songs up by playing them at the same time on YouTube, watching PowerPuff Girls or something and stumbled across it. Or maybe my friend already had one and I joined after I found out it was a safe thing to do.

Anyway, I used to be a lot more active in the beginning, the first year or so. I would scan in my sketches on the broken scanner/printer my dad brought home and, with zero editing, post it onto this green website. It was easy to make friends, I liked commenting and watching people. I loved finding new artists to look up to. I looked to it as a great community.

For some reason, when I turned into an angst-y teen, I became afraid of putting myself onto the internet. I became afraid of sharing my thoughts and art with the world. I was afraid my words could hurt people or people could hurt me. That was the first time someone told me "go die" for commenting on a YouTube video. I don't even remember what the video was, or even what I said. It had been taken down and I had only just figured out how to see replies to comments. 

Around this time was when I seriously had to evaluate my future, my goals, which college to go to, what to study, which major to select…too many things and all arrows pointed to a big "NO" for doing art. I never believed in myself when it came to art. Maybe it was when I entered my fourth year of art class and my teacher asked me "what makes your art unique?" And I couldn't answer her. 

But, I never stopped looking for new art. I loved to gather inspiration from the amazing artists that can be found in every nook & cranny. I learned a lot, just from looking at so many different styles, and even tutorials. It was really amazing, to just be able to improve my art by looking and practicing, practicing, practicing, practicing.

My first year of college, I drew more than any year I have ever drawn. I drew during all my classes, be it a little doodle, or full on sketching (because I seriously didn't need to pay attention in Chinese PX).

I am about to enter my second year of college. My major is computer science. I still don't exactly know what I want my future to be, but I know now that I will always keeps drawing. It's how I express my feelings. I draw my emotions into the people on the page. That is my answer to "what makes your art unique?" It's drawn by me. It is my emotions. My style is always evolving, and one day I hope to find a community of people who enjoy seeing my art because it's drawn by me. I am not afraid of putting my ideas and art out, once again. I'm not only active on deviantART, but on tumblrinstagram, FaceBook, and I've even started my own blog. I want to see what I can do when I truly believe in myself. 

I want to share my life, my happiness, my journey with the world. Because that is how we pass down our knowledge. I want to make friends this way. I want to make someone's day just by sharing mine. I want to make someone laugh, cry, jump up and down, twirl around, do a little jig, or just plain anything. I want them to feel when I share.

I'm extremely excited to see where I will go with this. And the pieces I want to feature some of the new styles I've been experimenting with this summer.

OC Rhana in Flowers by Fifi-kat

Rhana in Flowers

This is an original character, Rhana. I drew her one sunny college day and thought she was really cute. Then I realized she kept showing up more and more in my sketchbook, so I finally gave her that name and deemed her an OC. This summer, I vowed that I would practice my digital art. Low and behold, I kept to my promise and produced this! I am very proud of this piece, even though it has it's flaws, I still love it. Another stepping stone on my journey.

Sometimes by Fifi-kat


I drew this along with a thought that fleeted through my mind the other day. "Sometimes, I wish I was in love."
Earlier this year, my four year relationship ended. It's really taken some time to get used to it. I'm fine now, but I really do get this feeling from time to time. 

Afternoon Angst by Fifi-kat

Afternoon Angst

Maybe this is a beautiful creature who has fallen in love with someone who can never love her back.
I was in a state of confusion because I don't know how to find romance anymore. I hadn't had any close guy friends for so long, due to my afore mentioned relationship, I was panicking about some boys. So, like everything else, I drew out my emotions to end them.

Paint the Cracks by Fifi-kat

Paint the Cracks

This picture was definitely inspired by an artist I found on deviantART, her username is DestinyBlue. I love how her works speak so many emotions, are so intricate, are so unique and touching. I found myself crying over many of her pieces. This picture, of course, expresses my feelings. I had become insecure of myself and began to wear makeup everyday of college. Now, I rarely wear it at all because I found a group of people I call my best friends and I can feel confident all the time. But the other meaning I wanted to express is that I was lying about how I felt, always saying "I'm okay," when I was surely not. I hadn't put trust in anyone other than my (again) afore mentioned relationship and I didn't know who I could rely on. But rest assured, I have put that trust in my friends! I love them so much, from the bottom of my heart <3

Dance with the Evening by Fifi-kat

Dance with the Evening

Lastly, I want to feature this piece, even though it's still a work in progress and in my original style. This embodies the happiness I want to enjoy and share. This is inspired by the highlight of my summer, spending a fun evening with my friends. The scenery is a little walkway that actually exists in my neighborhood, and when the sun is halfway set, you can begin to see all the fireflies that are hidden in those trees and it just looks magical.

Thank you, if you've taken the time to see or read this, or even casually glance through the pictures, I just want to say thank you. I'm looking forward to what we can create, together!

Good luck!

PS: It's my DREAM to change my username, but no premium account yet =_=;;;;;;;;;;;;;"

It's crazy to look back and see all the progress, the ups and downs, the crazy and the calm. I'm excited to keep sharing my work and hopefully inspire others with my progress!

Thanks for reading~

Do you have a deviantART account? What kind of art do you do?

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